Public Office
by Natsudori
Summary: Pearl decides to run for mayor.


Humming a tune, Steven swung open the door into his house with a bag from the Big Donut in tow. Pearl had just exited the temple and Amethyst was rifling through the refrigerator while Garnet sat on the couch.

"Hey guys, I'm back!" Steven called out as he shut the door behind him.

His caretakers all offered him their own greeting. Amethyst, having abandoned the fridge, walked up to him. She looked down at his shirt. Over his usual top, he was wearing another that read 'Reelect Dewey' over a picture of the current mayor's face.

"What's with the freaky shirt, little man?" she asked.

"Oh, you like it? Beach City is voting for the new mayor and Mayor Dewey is giving out free t-shirts!"

"Don't they vote for the same guy every time? What's the point?"

"There is no point," Pearl said as she walked over to them. She folded her arms and gave Steven and the shirt a quick onceover.

"There isn't?" Steven asked.

"Of course not," she answered. "Human leaders are, by design, ineffective. They don't themselves facilitate any kind of reform. Rather, change is brought on gradually by the natural evolution of societal values. Still, humans enjoy their little elections in their inane desire to believe they control their reality."

"But...free t-shirts!" Steven argued.

"Yeah, P. Way to be a buzzkill," Amethyst added.

"I am not—" She sighed. "I just want Steven to understand that human politics are meaningless and not something he should waste his time on."

"Well, if humans are so bad at it, why don't you run?" Amethyst asked.

Steven's eyes lit up.

"Yeah, Pearl, you should do it!" Pearl blushed.

"Oh no, I couldn't possibly. Though, it would afford us certain resources and I do have the experience. But no, I—"

"You should do it," Garnet said from across the room.

Everyone looked to Garnet who offered no explanation. Pearl knitted her brows in thought. When she glanced back to Steven he was staring up at her with stars in his eyes. She smiled.

"Well, maybe I should. I do know better than anyone what this town faces and what needs to be done to protect it. It would at the very least be educational for Steven." She paused for one last moment of deliberation. "Alright, I'll do it!"

On the boardwalk, people were fastening banners that read "Beach City Art Fair" onto the street lights. Pearl and Steven had decided to hit the pavement, talking to would-be constituents. They stood with Yellowtail, Sour Cream, and Onion.

"Thank you for your time!" Pearl said with a smile, wrapping up her explanation of her decision to run for office and the basics of her campaign. Before she and Steven moved on, Steven handed out "Vote Pearl" buttons to the family.

"Here, take a button!"

They continued walking along the boardwalk. A short distance ahead of them, Mayor Dewey was talking with Mr. Smiley.

"Starting the campaign train early this year, huh?" Smiley said.

"Every season is campaign season, Harry," Dewey reminded him

"Yeah, yeah." Smiley laughed.

Dewey noticed Pearl talking excitedly to Suitcase Sam. He said goodbye to Smiley and straightened his tie before walking over to her.

"As you can see," Pearl went on, "I've put together some projections for how my new policies would improve the town."

As Pearl tilted her head to the side, a hologram of multiple charts appeared from her gem. Dewey ducked out of the projection's way.

"W-What?! You're running?" Dewey asked.

The hologram retreated into Pearl's gem. She glanced over to him.

"That's right," she said.

"But...Are you sure you have, um, time to be mayor? Don't you have, you know," he covered one side of his mouth with his hand, " _magic_ stuff to deal with?"

Pearl smirked. "I'm more than capable of managing my duties as a Crystal Gem and running a small city."

Mayor Dewey frowned and straightened his posture. "Well I wouldn't get your hopes up. The Deweys have held the mayoral office for decades."

"So you're saying you rely on brand name status for your votes and have yet to face a real challenge? Huh, winning this will be even simpler than I thought."

"What? No, I—"

"If you wouldn't mind, I have a campaign to run."

Bristled, Dewey turned and left.

The next day, Pearl and Steven had decided to hit the boardwalk once again. They stopped near the front of Beach Citywalk Fries.

"Well, I think today was a successful day of campaigning," Pearl said. "Steven, did you take that poll I asked you to?"

Steven winced.

"Um...yes?" he replied tentatively.

"And?"

"Uh, well...only two people I talked to said they were voting for you."

"What?" she screeched. "Who?"

"Mr. Pizza and Nanefua."

"Not even Greg?"

"Dad says he doesn't like getting involved in these kinds of things."

"Unbelievable. Didn't they pay attention to my projections?"

"Uh, we just need to improve your image! Maybe kiss some babies?"

"Babies?" she repeated, her lip curling in disgust.

"Yeah, people love babies!"

He threw his arms up enthusiastically. Unconvinced, Pearl clutched her chin in thought. She glanced around and, upon seeing Mr. Fryman at his shop, narrowed her eyes.

"Don't worry about it, Steven. I know how to change their minds."

Pearl went up to the fry stand with Steven following. Fryman, wearing a "Vote Dewey" button, smiled and set a bag of "the bits" on the counter. Pearl glanced down at the bag then stared back at him.

"Hey Steven," Fryman said with a smile. "Here for the bits?"

Disgusted, Pearl pinched the corner of the bag and moved it to the other side of the counter.

"Actually," she began curtly, "we're here to discuss the election."

Fryman started to sweat.

"Oh."

"So? What exactly makes your current mayor a better candidate than myself? Perhaps you haven't reviewed my platform yet?"

"Uh, no. I was there when you were talking to people. It's just, you know, Mayor Dewey's been around for a while and things work just fine."

He smiled nervously.

"So, you're willing to settle for "fine" when this town could do so much better?"

"Well, uh—"

"Ask yourself this, how much has Mayor Dewey really done for you? When the city experienced that unfortunate blackout? I don't recall him doing anything but lying about having it under control. Meanwhile, my team and I worked around the clock to sort that out." Startled, Steven looked up at Pearl, but said nothing. "In fact, we spend most of our time keeping the city safe."

"I-I guess that is true," Fryman conceded.

"I also hear he hates human children," she added quickly.

"What?!" he and Steven both blurted out simultaneously.

"I, however, am very fond of them," Pearl continued without missing a beat.

Fryman scratched the back of his neck. "Yeesh. You think you know a guy."

"Thank you for your time," Pearl said. "Hopefully now you see who really has the best interest of the city in mind."

Beaming, Pearl left without another word. Distressed, Steven took the bits, exchanging it for a "Vote Pearl" button. He offered a half-hearted thank you to Fryman and went after Pearl. As Steven was leaving, Fryman removed Dewey's button, replacing it with Pearl's.

Steven caught up with Pearl, slowing down to match her steps. His head hung low as he stared down at the ground in thought.

"Was that okay?" he asked.

"Of course it was," Pearl replied. "We got a vote." She clapped her hands together happily.

"But, you lied. And you made Mayor Dewey look really bad."

"Oh, Steven. Truth and lies are meaningless details."

Steven kept frowning. He looked up at her questioningly. Pearl sighed.

"Steven, the system humans have in place favors those with personality and charming smiles and not necessarily those best for the job. Lying, like any other campaign strategy, is just to ensure that the right person, me," she smiled to herself, "gets into power. I don't like it either. Gems have no such process. But I'm doing what I have to. Now come on, we have so many more constituents to talk to!"

Pearl walked ahead, eager to implement her new strategy. Steven reluctantly followed her. They continued to talk to different residents of Beach City until Pearl felt confident she had swayed enough hearts. Even then, she poured herself into the campaign, becoming increasingly more obsessed with winning. Her dedication payed off when the results were in and she had come out victorious.

Dewey stood in the doorway of his former office, a box filled with his things in his hands. Pearl was happily arranging each of her possessions on the cleared desk as Steven handed them to her. She frowned, slightly adjusted her nameplate, and then smiled again.

"I don't understand how this happened," Dewey said.

"Obviously, the best candidate won," Pearl gloated. "Now run along. I have a lot of work to do. Like making all the calls to cancel this silly art festival."

She watched her gem to project a calendar.

"What?" Steven complained. "Not the festival!"

"Oh no no no," Dewey also objected. "You can't do that. We hold that every year. The people depend on structure to keep them happy."

"Please," Pearl said. "It's just another pointless event this city throws money away for. Cutting it and other arbitrary events will increase city revenues."

"But tourism will plummet!" Dewey pointed out.

"Good. Humans shouldn't be coming near the temple anyways. Besides, what I have in mind if far more important. I'll be putting all the incoming funds towards a new defense system. It will protect us from future gem attacks."

Her hologram changed to a small map of Beach City with indistinguishable marks at various points.

"That's all well and good," Dewey said, "but leading people is about a lot more than just protecting them—"

"That is no longer any of your concern."

She brushed passed him out of the room.

"Wha—Hey! You can't just ignore what the public has to say!"

"Ha, I'm your leader. I can do whatever I want. Come on, Steven."

Steven slumped his shoulders yet went to her nonetheless. Dewey shook his head at him as he passed by.

Steven accompanied Pearl to the Funland amusement park. He stood next to Pearl while she discussed her business there with Mr. Smiley.

"What do you mean you're shutting Funland down?" Smiley asked.

"I noticed your establishment violates several of the city's zoning laws," Pearl explained. "I suggest you turn over the property to me to avoid any serious legal action against you."

Smiley scanned over the paperwork she had handed him.

"I don't understand. This has never been a problem before."

"My predecessor may have been willing to overlook your infractions, but you'll find I don't play so fast and loose with the rules."

"Come on, Pearl," Steven interjected. "Mr. Smiley's not hurting anybody."

Smiley nodded eagerly.

"What does it matter, Steven?" Pearl asked. "You're banned from all the rides and games here anyways." She turned back to Smiley. "Goodbye Mr. Smiley, I expect the paperwork from you very soon."

They leave to head back into town.

"But Pearl..." Steven tried again.

"I need that space, Steven," she said. "Once it's torn down, it'll be the perfect location for the new defense cannon. Now, I have much more to do today. Why don't you go and play with some of your friends?" She picked up her pace, leaving Steven behind.

Steven walked into the Big Donut. He heaved a dramatic sigh once the door closed behind him. From the counter, Lars and Sadie greeted him.

"Hey, Steven," Sadie said. "We were just getting ready to close up the store. Want a donut?"

Steven reached the counter and rested his head on it.

"Yes please," he said glumly.

"What's the matter with you?" Lars asked.

"Nothing," Steven said, lifting his head up. "It's just, ever since Pearl became mayor she's been acting..."

"Like a jerk," Lars offered.

"Lars!" Sadie nudged him. She looked back at Steven sympathetically. "Yeah, it's too bad she cancelled the art festival. We were gonna go."

She indicated Lars, causing him to blush.

"It's not a big deal," Lars said. "That thing's always pretty lame."

"Yeah, but it's kind of fun," Sadie said.

Lars didn't argue. The bell on the door to the shop chimed. Amethyst walked in.

"Hey guys, how are things under the Pearl Authority?" she joked.

"Terrible!" Steven exclaimed. "Is this really how gems run things?"

Amethyst shrugged. The lights in the store suddenly went out.

"What the heck?" Sadie said.

"Oh man!" Amethyst said, practically shaking from excitement. "She actually did it!"

"Did what?" Steven asked.

"Pearl was talking about setting up a curfew and shutting down the city at night to save power."

"What?!" Steven yelled.

The group heard a commotion from outside.

"What is that?" Sadie asked, ringing her hands together.

Lars, Sadie, and Steven ran outside while Amethyst followed nonchalantly. In front of city hall, a crowd of townspeople were gathered. Pearl stood in front of them at the doors to the building.

"You can't do this to us!" Kofi shouted.

"If everyone would just settle down!" Pearl tried to speak over them.

"Oh no..." Steven groaned under his breath.

"Settle down?" Fryman yelled. "You turned the power off!"

"Some rationing of resources is necessary to accomplish our goals—"

"Give us our town back!" Nanefua added her voice to the growing group of protestors.

With the people getting rowdier, Pearl retreated into city hall. Steven snuck past the crowd and into the building. He ran through the halls until he reached Pearl's office. He found her inside. After closing the curtains, she hugged herself.

"Pearl, you have to do something!" Steven said.

Her expression turned from one of bewilderment to exhaustion.

"They'll eventually get tired and go home," she told him.

"What if they don't? Can't you just give them what they want?"

"No!" she raised her voice suddenly. "They just don't understand what I'm trying to do for them."

Steven drew the curtain a little to look outside at the angry crowd. He closed his eyes and hit his head.

"Think think think." He opened his eyes again as an idea struck him. "Oh, I know!"

He pulled out his phone and started dialing.

The walls of Buck's room were plastered with posters and clothes littered the floor. Dewey sat in his son's room at the computer. He was wearing a white tank top and had let the stubble on his face go unchecked. He stared intensely at the screen, rapidly pressing keys.

"No, no," he spoke into the headset he was wearing. "You're supposed to get to the extraction zone or we'll all—"

The game's theme music cut out, replaced with a prerecorded voice declaring, "Objective Failed!" Dewey took off his headset.

"Pfft, casuals. This is why I work alone."

He sighed sadly and ate a spoonful of the cup of Icelandic yogurt sitting on the desk. His phone rang. The caller ID read "Young Universe." Dewey answered it, holding the device with his head and shoulder so his hands could return to the keyboard.

"Universe?" he said.

"Mayor Dewey!" Steven's voice shrieked over the phone. "The town's gone dark and everyone is really angry! They're yelling in the streets! You gotta come help!"

A few seconds went by as he tried to process the information.

"What?"

"You have to get to city hall right away!"

He sighed. He took his hands off the keyboard so he could hold the phone properly.

"Steven, that's not my job anymore."

"That doesn't matter! The people need you!"

Dewey didn't say anything at first. He just stared at the computer screen that read "Mission Failed." After some thought, he hung up the phone and stood up.

Back in front of city hall, the crowd was only getting angrier. Dewey's car pulled up behind them, drawing their attention. Dewey, clean-shaven and wearing a suit, grabbed his megaphone from the passenger's seat and climbed on top of his car.

"People of Beach City," he spoke into the megaphone. "I need all of your to consider disbanding for tonight. You've made your objections clear. Give it some time and things will sort themselves out."

"What can you do?" Fryman called up to him. "You're not mayor anymore."

"Maybe not, but I am an informed citizen who knows how these things work."

Some members of the crowd began talking amongst themselves.

From inside the mayor's office, Steven smiled as the crowd quieted a bit. Pearl came to the window and frowned.

"Ugh, what is he doing here?" she asked.

Steven's eyes widened. Exasperated, he turned to Pearl.

"He's helping! What you should be doing!"

"I am helping! All that I do is to protect them!"

"No!" Steven shouted. "It's to protect me! And Amethyst and Garnet. Helping the town is always just an...accident. You don't care. If you did, you'd understand that maybe we don't need festivals or power or Funland, but...they make us happy!"

Taken aback by his sudden outburst, Pearl froze. She saw Steven was close to tears and looked away.

"Steven...I—"

Not knowing what to say, she stopped. Pearl heard Dewey's voice and looked outside.

"You all go home now," he was saying. "I'll have everything resolved by morning."

Pearl closed the curtain and sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

Outside, the townspeople had started to disband.

"And I appreciate your cooperation in this time of crisis," Dewey said.

"Wait!" Pearl called over the crowd.

People stopped leaving and they all looked at Pearl. She made her way to Dewey's car with as much grace as she could muster. She climbed onto the vehicle so that she was standing next to Dewey. She opened her mouth to speak, but the crowd immediately began to boo. She flinched, but still decided to speak.

"People of Beach—"

She paused, realizing her voice was too quiet.

"Oh, here," Dewey said, handing her the megaphone.

"Thank you," she said quietly then turned the megaphone on to speak into it. "People of Beach City, I know that in my time as mayor I've had to make some difficult decisions. And I know that hasn't always agreed with you..."

The faces in the crowd still held nothing but disdain in them.

"And because of that," she went on, "I have decided to resign from my position."

The crowd suddenly erupted into loud cheers. Disheartened, Pearl pushed herself to keep going.

"In the interim, while someone to take my place is selected, I think it only appropriate that Mr. Dewey take over my duties."

The cheers began anew, this time accompanied by the chanting of the familiar "Mayor Dewey" tune. Dewey, initially surprised by her words, turned to the crowd with a wide smile and waved. Pearl returned the megaphone to him and got off the car. She saw a smiling Steven walking towards her. When they met, he hugged her legs tightly and she set a hand on his head.

Whistling a tune, Dewey carried his box of possessions to his office. He jumped a little when he realized Pearl was there looking out the window sadly. She was holding her box of things. Dewey set his box on the desk.

"Uh, sorry," he said hesitantly. "I didn't think you'd still be here."

"I was just leaving," she said.

She didn't budge though.

"I don't know what I was thinking. I'm a terrible leader. All I can do is follow orders."

"Well, you should definitely never run for political office again," he agreed. "Ever."

Pearl shot him a nasty look, barely, if at all concealing, her hurt feelings.

Dewey began to sweat.

"That's not to say you don't have any leadership qualities," he added. "I mean, you certainly have a way of getting people to do what you want. You got away with things you didn't even have the authority to do!" He stopped himself from laughing and put back on his disapproving frown. "You're probably more suited to leading an army. The problem is the people here just aren't warriors. Heck, with all the stuff that goes on around here, maybe they should be?"

Pearl stared at him.

"Heh, Pearl, leader of armies," she said sarcastically. "If only you could appreciate how silly that sounds."

He frowned.

"Then again, maybe I'm wrong." He shrugged. "Leaders are supposed to have confidence in themselves after all."

She ducked her head, her gaze shifting to the floor and an angry blush spreading over her face.

"I should get back to the gems," she said. "Ugh, Amethyst is not going to let me live this one down."

Dewey nodded.

"You've got battles out there to fight. I'll take care of things here."

"Hmm, I suppose you've proven you're not entirely incompetent."

"Uh...thanks."

"Keep everything in town in order. We're relying on you."

With that, Pearl left. Dewey sighed, relieved. He took out his "#1 rad dad" mug and placed it on the desk. He adjusted it slightly, making sure it fell perfectly into the imprint it had made from sitting on the desk for so long.


End file.
